My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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