Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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