Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
