This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
