when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
