Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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