I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
