I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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