they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
