Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
