Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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