Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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