All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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