Can Purell be used as lube?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drake has all the answers
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
