Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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