If that was your dad, he is hot
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
