She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
the gays at disneyland are vicious
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
