Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize