K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
