coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
