I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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