Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
