Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
