And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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