oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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