so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
