It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
