if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
