come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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