I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
