it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
