I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
