Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I need to stop coming to work sober
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Congratulations! We have a period
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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