I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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