He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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