Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
