Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
