If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
