I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
