She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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