i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
