I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
