Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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