Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize