It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
