Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
