Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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