so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
