I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize