She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize