I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
