we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
