Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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