That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
