I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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