i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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