White coat. Heels.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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