So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
