My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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