I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
