I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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