"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
