She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
