Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
