Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
that may or may not have been my penis.
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