i think i have two assholes
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Drake has all the answers
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
