Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
