sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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