Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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